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  <title>• Flashes and screams</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/</link>
  <description>• Flashes and screams - LiveJournal.com</description>
  <lastBuildDate>Thu, 23 Jul 2009 17:15:55 GMT</lastBuildDate>
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  <lj:journal>actuallydo</lj:journal>
  <lj:journalid>13493122</lj:journalid>
  <lj:journaltype>personal</lj:journaltype>
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    <title>• Flashes and screams</title>
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  <pubDate>Thu, 23 Jul 2009 17:15:55 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>actuallydo.tumblr.com</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/42637.html</link>
  <description>Goodbye livejournal. Hello tumblr^^</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/42637.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>giggly</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/42478.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 16 Jul 2009 06:18:37 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Babycakes</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/42478.html</link>
  <description>Written with a pen,&lt;br /&gt;Sealed with a kiss,&lt;br /&gt;If you care about me, please answer me this, do you love me or do you not.&lt;br /&gt;You told me once but i forgot.&lt;br /&gt;So tell me now and tell me true, so i can tell you i love you.&lt;br /&gt;Of all the people i ever met you are the one i wont forget.&lt;br /&gt;And if i die before you do, ill go to heaven and wait for you.&lt;br /&gt;If you&apos;re not there on judgement day i&apos;l know you went the other way.&lt;br /&gt;I&apos;ll risk losing my everything, and give the angels back their wings.&lt;br /&gt;Just to prove my love is true, i&apos;ll go to hell to be with you.</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/42478.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>sick</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
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<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/42077.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 17 Jun 2009 20:28:53 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>isnt even possible to lie to yourself?</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/42077.html</link>
  <description>Today, a little part of me grew.&lt;br /&gt;Today, a little part of me learnt.&lt;br /&gt;Today, I realised I was looking at something that wasn&apos;t even there.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;If there were to be a human defination of naive, it would be me.</description>
  <lj:mood>cranky</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/41866.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 02 Jun 2009 12:38:02 GMT</pubDate>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/41866.html</link>
  <description>&lt;img border=&quot;3&quot; src=&quot;http://i41.tinypic.com/29eji43.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;&quot; /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I wished i could snug up in bed and throw away the life i lead.&lt;br /&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/41866.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>disappointed</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>1</lj:reply-count>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/41693.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sat, 09 May 2009 17:38:39 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Joke</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/41693.html</link>
  <description>I finally found some1 a bigger joke then k.&lt;br /&gt;I&amp;nbsp;laughed out loud at this one.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://i42.tinypic.com/dr80av.jpg&quot; style=&quot;width: 456px; height: 341px;&quot; alt=&quot;&quot; /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/41693.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>high</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/41305.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 01 May 2009 09:07:32 GMT</pubDate>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/41305.html</link>
  <description>Stupid girl, i shouldve known</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/41305.html</comments>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/41180.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 13 Apr 2009 17:52:41 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Forever? Really?</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/41180.html</link>
  <description>&lt;p&gt;I&amp;nbsp;kept, kept staring at that photo.&lt;br /&gt;Just like how shuwen stared at it outside cd.&lt;br /&gt;But it hits me in my face, really? Isit all gonna be the same?&lt;br /&gt;Will it be? Will it all be the same.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ahh life is getting more and more complicated.&lt;br /&gt;I&amp;nbsp;wanna be 3 again, anybody with me.&lt;br /&gt;Im tired too.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/41180.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>confused</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>4</lj:reply-count>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/40715.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 20 Mar 2009 22:23:22 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Time time time</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/40715.html</link>
  <description>I&amp;nbsp;feel the distance, still feeling it.&lt;br /&gt;Thinking how long more would i feel this way, thinking if i should even feel this way.&lt;br /&gt;Wished time could turn back.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh well, on the lighter note p has been my drive to get home early everyday.&lt;br /&gt;Kuudos to that.</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/40715.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>apathetic</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>19</lj:reply-count>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/40493.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 08 Mar 2009 09:05:50 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>.</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/40493.html</link>
  <description>I did not see myself becoming like this, not a single bit.&lt;br /&gt;I dont even know me anymore.</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/40493.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>Lost</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>14</lj:reply-count>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/40284.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 26 Feb 2009 12:32:53 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Enough</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/40284.html</link>
  <description>&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;width: 300px;&quot;&gt;&lt;lj-embed id=&quot;7&quot; /&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;padding: 1px; background-color: rgb(230, 230, 230);&quot;&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;padding: 4px 4px 0pt 0pt; float: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imeem.com/&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; alt=&quot;&quot; src=&quot;http://www.imeem.com/embedsearch/E6E6E6/&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.imeem.com/people/Aappz3H/music/8NROeEdh/pussycat_dolls_i_hate_this_part/&quot;&gt;I Hate This Part - Pussycat Dolls&lt;/a&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/40284.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>cold</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
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<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/39858.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 23 Feb 2009 20:07:29 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Down down gone</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/39858.html</link>
  <description>As i sit here infront of the computer tonight, still half sober, back from work.&lt;br /&gt;I have all the questions about life and everything down and under it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I really wonder whether im slowly, day by day, losing the people i love.&lt;br /&gt;Losing the ones so important to me, and losing the ones im holding tight to.&lt;br /&gt;Im so scared that the day will come whereby the people i love forgets my existence&lt;br /&gt;Forget the things we once had in common, forget the times we shared.&lt;br /&gt;Forget that i loved them.&lt;br /&gt;So afraid that one day, they might just slip away, even before i know it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This sounds kinda quirk and emotional but i dont know, maybe its the alcohol.&lt;br /&gt;I really dont wish to lose anyone, anyone at all.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I remembered i stumbled upon somewhere before this quote&lt;br /&gt;&amp;quot; &lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;If nothing is forever, then i rather be nothing. At least, i am forever&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/span&gt; &amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;</description>
  <lj:mood>lonely</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/39566.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 22 Feb 2009 16:00:04 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Goodbye to you my trusted friends</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/39566.html</link>
  <description>www.100waystokillyourself.com</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/39566.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>blank</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>7</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/39227.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 17 Feb 2009 18:20:11 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Paranoid</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/39227.html</link>
  <description>Lan as usual today, but more pple then usual.&lt;br /&gt;Im kinda proud to see Verleby stuck on l4d.&lt;br /&gt;Niofa was so fierce today, you may never get to see her like that ever again.&lt;br /&gt;Cussing every vulgar you can ever think of in the world !@#$%^&amp;amp;*&lt;br /&gt;Thats how aggressive you get when you play this fucking game.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So me niofa whusen and verleby went down centrepoint to withdraw cash&lt;br /&gt;and find macdonalds.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;em&gt;(Kake start here)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Then.&lt;br /&gt;Once i insert my fucking card into the fucking atm, the lights, machines, everything blacked out.&lt;br /&gt;So it was kinda fucking dark and fucking looks like one of l4d scene. AT&amp;nbsp;THE&amp;nbsp;DAMN&amp;nbsp;BASEMENT&lt;br /&gt;We jitao is scream and run, i was shouting &amp;quot; my card my card cb my card still inside&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;verleby ask me &amp;quot; Dont panic!!!&amp;quot; and walk back with me to take my card when the lights when on again.&lt;br /&gt;Once i took out my card, the lights when off again, so ran and laughed so fast/hard.&lt;br /&gt;&amp;quot; Zombie zombie!&amp;quot; hahaha and you can hear fiona&apos;s fucking high pitched scream.&lt;br /&gt;Everyone was like screaming for their life, as if a tanker was chasing us -.-&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;4&quot; alt=&quot;&quot; style=&quot;width: 475px; height: 352px;&quot; src=&quot;http://i39.tinypic.com/2u439xj.jpg&quot; /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Verleby and Whusen have to hold up the metal bars at the escalator so we could &apos;escape.&apos; &lt;br /&gt;Is the team work man.&lt;br /&gt;Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahah, like survivors.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This one, more kake then l4d gorzilallion times&lt;br /&gt;Stomach cramp. Luckilly never pee in my pants.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/39227.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>Paranoid</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>21</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/39076.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 16 Feb 2009 11:33:01 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Left4dead</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/39076.html</link>
  <description>Yesterday i killed cansee.&lt;br /&gt;Yesterday fiona was shot in the butt.&lt;br /&gt;Yesterday was fun.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Yesterday i thought zombies would climb thru my window.&lt;br /&gt;Konfirm tt</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/39076.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>crazy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/38874.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 10 Feb 2009 16:23:59 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>I believe</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/38874.html</link>
  <description>&lt;img border=&quot;4&quot; src=&quot;http://i43.tinypic.com/1qhj07.jpg&quot; style=&quot;width: 509px; height: 389px;&quot; alt=&quot;&quot; /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This is, for life. (knuckles)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/38874.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>content</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>9</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/38437.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2009 18:39:15 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Dread</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/38437.html</link>
  <description>Im gonna miss (inserts your name) terribly ):</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/38437.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>gloomy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>1</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/38252.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 21 Jan 2009 16:50:29 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>I smell a big misunderstanding coming along</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/38252.html</link>
  <description>When you have queries, ask me.&lt;br /&gt;Snooping around is a bad bad decision.</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/38252.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>confused</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/37911.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 18 Jan 2009 16:32:22 GMT</pubDate>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/37911.html</link>
  <description>Confused?!</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/37911.html</comments>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/37651.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 15 Jan 2009 06:43:10 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>12manythings</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/37651.html</link>
  <description>Theres no point saying sorry if things just wouldnt change.&lt;br /&gt;Theres no point crying when everythings gonna stay the same.&lt;br /&gt;Theres no point for guilt when you know you&apos;re happier this way.&lt;br /&gt;Theres no point in saying i&apos;ll change, things will be back to the same.&lt;br /&gt;(when in fact, no fucking change)&lt;br /&gt;No point.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;At least on the 23 when i leave, i know i wouldnt have to cry again over at the aiport.&lt;br /&gt;I know i&apos;ve tried to spent every possible time i could with you. &lt;br /&gt;What about you?&lt;br /&gt;Because when you leave, i know i&apos;ve tried. Have you?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dont we deserve a little bit more of your time.&lt;br /&gt;After all that we have been through together.&lt;br /&gt;We have waited 6 long months for you to get back.&lt;br /&gt;Have they? &lt;br /&gt;We were there at the airport 6 months ago.&lt;br /&gt;Are they?&lt;br /&gt;We have known you for years.&lt;br /&gt;Do they?&lt;br /&gt;We&apos;ve been through countless ups and downs together&lt;br /&gt;Did they?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I just fucking dont understand.&lt;br /&gt;Why are we so much less important than them.&lt;br /&gt;And certainly, its disappointing.&lt;br /&gt;Wait, not just disappointing.&lt;br /&gt;Devasting.&lt;br /&gt;After all, this is what we get from you....</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/37651.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>disappointed</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/37477.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 14 Jan 2009 15:19:35 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>?</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/37477.html</link>
  <description>&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: xx-large;&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Im seriously lost.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/37477.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>lost</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/37214.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 13 Jan 2009 17:13:37 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Ridi(coo)lus</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/37214.html</link>
  <description>Behave like your age.</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/37214.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>bitchy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/36867.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 12 Jan 2009 20:47:19 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>(trust?)</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/36867.html</link>
  <description>I stayed up whole night.&lt;br /&gt;Searching for answers, for an enlightenment.&lt;br /&gt;With a fucking E8 for maths i have no where to go.&lt;br /&gt;Appeal? I seriously should tell myself to save the effort.&lt;br /&gt;Save The Effort.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I.have.totally.lost.hope.in.myself.&lt;br /&gt;Somebody.anybody.help.&lt;br /&gt;RP whatever,&amp;nbsp; as long as a poly?&lt;br /&gt;Please? Engineering? &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I cant believe whats happening.</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/36867.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>worried</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>5</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/36813.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 11 Jan 2009 06:25:13 GMT</pubDate>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/36813.html</link>
  <description>Tmr&apos;s the big day.</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/36813.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>stressed</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/36449.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 02 Jan 2009 02:23:56 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Too long</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/36449.html</link>
  <description>What if I told you, I had never forgetten about you. Not a single bit.</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/36449.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>confused</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>1</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/36154.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 30 Dec 2008 04:01:40 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Believe</title>
  <link>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/36154.html</link>
  <description>I just realised that a leopard never changes its spot.&lt;br /&gt;Its still the same, since ever.&lt;br /&gt;And its hard to really keep by one&apos;s words, isnt it?&lt;br /&gt;Its disappointing, like always.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Always.&lt;br /&gt;A bunch of lies to cover a bunch of lies, nize much.&lt;br /&gt;So i give up on trying, give up on hoping to see any change in you.&lt;br /&gt;Wish you all the best?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ps/ and thank you remus for ALWAYS being there&lt;br /&gt;Be it on 5am or 6pm.</description>
  <comments>http://actuallydo.livejournal.com/36154.html</comments>
  <lj:mood>disappointed</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>2</lj:reply-count>
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